This Is What It Really Means

You know, there is this book, and it is pretty thick, that is full of all kinds of interesting information about what the English language really means. It's called the Dictionary of American Slang. Well, I'm thinkin', I really believe there should be another book, one that I and all you other Elk Hunters and Wannabes will truly relate to. Let's call it the Dictionary of Elk Camp Slang. It's gonna have some pretty odd entries for certain, and I'd love to have lots and lots of help writing this here book. You see, these slang terms can be pretty localized and some of the Elk Camp Slang that is really familiar to me might not be so easily understood by you, and so it goes the other direction as well.

Well, here goes, and in no order of importance nor alphabetically arranged. You see it really doesn't matter, you'll get the hang of it.

BUNG FODDER: This is the term used by many for the commonly known, toilet paper. See it really isn't all that odd, lets break down the term. Bung; being a slang term for manure, poo, doo doo, or s#*t. Fodder; being that part of the feed that would soak up the liquid part of the feed that makes it easier for the hogs to feed. There, see, it makes all the sense in the world, or at least the world of Elk Camp.

SHE'S A LEPER: This is the term used to characterize a lone Cow Elk feeding along the canyon wall with no other animals anywhere near her. Now I don't know why she's off by herself, maybe she does have a dread disease, or more likely, she's just found a right fine place to feed and doesn't feel the need to share her lunch.

MOUTHWASH: Ever heard of Peppermint Schnapps?

VITAMINS: Everyone knows that fruit is full of vitamins and other good stuff that's good for ya, right? Cranberries are no exception! Cranberries in the form of cranberry juice make it so much easier and enjoy gettin' those vitamins, and cranberry juice mixed with HRD vodka is all the better for sure.

THE ELK ARE WHERE YOU FIND EM: This is the term uttered by Elk hunters who have yet to see any Elk. You see, if you're still talkin' about findin' em, instead of talkin' about what you've already found, then you must not have found em yet. See what I mean?

THE SPIKE WAS DANCIN': This is the term spewed forth in an attempt to describe the circumstances as to why, for cryin' out loud, you didn't just shoot the bloomin' spike.

BILLY GOAT: Now normally you would think this is the term for a male goat. Nope, fraid not. This is what you call the Elk Hunter that climbs the steepest mountains, decends the deepest canyons, and generally logs more miles in one Elk Season as most of us do in 2 or 3 seasons.

BUNSEN: Ever use one of these little burners in science class in middle school. Nope, sorry, Bunsen is a much bigger burner. Normally used to start large backfires or to burn weeds along a farmer's fence line. Bunsen is used simply to easily start a fire in the woodstove inside a wall tent. If you are inexperienced, don't try this at home!!

FANNY PACK: I put this one in here for any Aussies or Kiwis who happen to read this blog. Here in the USA, a fanny is a rear end, a bottom, a buttox or your behind. Now I know that you folks call the front part of the female anatomy a fanny, so this definition is here to ease your collective minds. Just think Bum Bag every time an American says Fanny Pack, okay?

PEA SHOOTER: This is the term used to define what one Elk hunter may think of as too small a caliber to hunt Elk. It is not a straw used to blow spit wads at the back of Emmy Lou's head in history class.

HOT FOOTIN' IT: Now one way this is defined is by being in a hurry and taking quick steps cause you are in a hurry. Nope, not what I'm talkin' about here. Hot Footin' It is when the fire you set goes out, but the rock you built the fire on is still hot and you end up standing on the hot rock and melting a hole through the bottom of your boot. I have no idea where this definition came from, but I can feel, er I mean, understand it.

JUST FER DRILL: This term is used when you what to kill a little more time before the evening hunt and you decide to head down some trail that you've never seen Elk on, but, doggone it, you will some day.

FRIGGIN' WOLVES: This is how Elk Hunters refer to the States ineptitude in handling intrusive species that indescrimitively kill thousands of Elk each year. Ask me how I really feel??

Well, there's a start. If you have more, I'd love to hear em. Keep em comin, cause I know you've developed some of your own slang terms.