You Were Right Son

I enjoy taking my kids hunting with me. I mean, some of the very best times I've had in the field have been with a youngin' in tow. They aren't always as quiet as I'd like, and sometimes they can slow the whole process down a bit, but if I had to choose, I'd choose missing an opportunity to bag an animal if it means I get to spend some precious time with one of my kids.

Of course this brings me to a little tale about how sometimes it just won't kill ya to listen and take junior's ideas to heart. I had drawn a Spike Bull tag in a unit pretty close to home, and it allowed me to hunt from the house and be able to take along my 10 yr old son. So off we go in the wee hours of the morning to see if we can find the elusive Wapiti Spiker. I figure Junior isn't gonna be able to take too much of a hike, so I decide to drive to a couple of spots we might be able to get to and find a good place to take a short hike and sit and watch a game trail or meadow. Well, we're drivin' down this road and Junior sees a spur road and says "Dad, lets go up there". So anyway, I've got a place in mind, so I tell him, "nah, I don't think that's such a good spot". We get to where I'm certain is a better place and we bail out of the rig and head down a loggin' skiff. We aren't seein' much sign, and what we are seein' isn't fresh. At any rate, I find a spot where we can sit and watch and wait and listen and well, that's all we do, cause there isn't a thing to watch, wait for or listen to.

Back down the trail we go to the truck, and back down the road we drive. Along the way to another "sure fire" hunting spot, we pass the same spur road that Junior had mentioned before. "Hey Dad" he says, "you sure we shouldn't try up there". "Yeah, I'm sure" I tell him and keep on drivin'. We come to this "sure fire" area, and off we go again. This time we don't even see old Elk sign. Along with that, we certainly don't see any Elk. Junior is beginning to lose interest and I'm runnin' out of hunting spots. But I have one more thought in the area, and it's up past the first place we went. So off we go, drivin' past Junior's spur road again. He just looks at me this time, I shake my head and continue down the road.

Of course, we have just about the same experience at this "perfect spot" as we did the first two. Now, not only is Junior losing interest, I'm beginning to myself. "Not any Elk around here" I spew forth, and what does Junior say? "Dad, what about that one road we keep driving past, we haven't tried there yet". "OK, lets give it a try, can't be any worse that what we've done so far."

I pull off on this spur road and it only goes about a hundred yards or so and is blocked off. We hop on out and head down the trail. Good criminy, there are Elk tracks right in the middle of the track and they were put there earlier that day. Well, I'm tellin' Junior that I shoulda listened to him and he's givin me the ole ' I told ya so'. We haven't seen any animals yet, so we sit on down on this log up above the main trail and wait, and not for very long either. Along comes this young Cow and she doesn't have a clue that we are there. In fact she never does and we sit there for over 30 minutes. She gets within about 20 yards of us and we never move, she never winds us and Juniors eyes are as big as saucers for the entire time. This Cow grazes and poops and just meanders around and doesn't have a care in the world. Well, she's the only critter we see. We don't get to shoot her cause I'm carryin' a Spike tag, and the rifle never leaves my knees. Junior is all smiles and can't stop talkin' about this here Cow that gets so close to us, and who knows, if I had listened to him earlier, we might just have seen the critters that made the fresh tracks.

The darn kid had a feelin' about that spur road all day long and dad just 'knew better'. Well I learned a lesson there, cause sometimes you just have a feelin' about where to hunt. There isn't an explanation as to why, but you just know it's the right place to go. At least Junior did...........

This Is What It Really Means

You know, there is this book, and it is pretty thick, that is full of all kinds of interesting information about what the English language really means. It's called the Dictionary of American Slang. Well, I'm thinkin', I really believe there should be another book, one that I and all you other Elk Hunters and Wannabes will truly relate to. Let's call it the Dictionary of Elk Camp Slang. It's gonna have some pretty odd entries for certain, and I'd love to have lots and lots of help writing this here book. You see, these slang terms can be pretty localized and some of the Elk Camp Slang that is really familiar to me might not be so easily understood by you, and so it goes the other direction as well.

Well, here goes, and in no order of importance nor alphabetically arranged. You see it really doesn't matter, you'll get the hang of it.

BUNG FODDER: This is the term used by many for the commonly known, toilet paper. See it really isn't all that odd, lets break down the term. Bung; being a slang term for manure, poo, doo doo, or s#*t. Fodder; being that part of the feed that would soak up the liquid part of the feed that makes it easier for the hogs to feed. There, see, it makes all the sense in the world, or at least the world of Elk Camp.

SHE'S A LEPER: This is the term used to characterize a lone Cow Elk feeding along the canyon wall with no other animals anywhere near her. Now I don't know why she's off by herself, maybe she does have a dread disease, or more likely, she's just found a right fine place to feed and doesn't feel the need to share her lunch.

MOUTHWASH: Ever heard of Peppermint Schnapps?

VITAMINS: Everyone knows that fruit is full of vitamins and other good stuff that's good for ya, right? Cranberries are no exception! Cranberries in the form of cranberry juice make it so much easier and enjoy gettin' those vitamins, and cranberry juice mixed with HRD vodka is all the better for sure.

THE ELK ARE WHERE YOU FIND EM: This is the term uttered by Elk hunters who have yet to see any Elk. You see, if you're still talkin' about findin' em, instead of talkin' about what you've already found, then you must not have found em yet. See what I mean?

THE SPIKE WAS DANCIN': This is the term spewed forth in an attempt to describe the circumstances as to why, for cryin' out loud, you didn't just shoot the bloomin' spike.

BILLY GOAT: Now normally you would think this is the term for a male goat. Nope, fraid not. This is what you call the Elk Hunter that climbs the steepest mountains, decends the deepest canyons, and generally logs more miles in one Elk Season as most of us do in 2 or 3 seasons.

BUNSEN: Ever use one of these little burners in science class in middle school. Nope, sorry, Bunsen is a much bigger burner. Normally used to start large backfires or to burn weeds along a farmer's fence line. Bunsen is used simply to easily start a fire in the woodstove inside a wall tent. If you are inexperienced, don't try this at home!!

FANNY PACK: I put this one in here for any Aussies or Kiwis who happen to read this blog. Here in the USA, a fanny is a rear end, a bottom, a buttox or your behind. Now I know that you folks call the front part of the female anatomy a fanny, so this definition is here to ease your collective minds. Just think Bum Bag every time an American says Fanny Pack, okay?

PEA SHOOTER: This is the term used to define what one Elk hunter may think of as too small a caliber to hunt Elk. It is not a straw used to blow spit wads at the back of Emmy Lou's head in history class.

HOT FOOTIN' IT: Now one way this is defined is by being in a hurry and taking quick steps cause you are in a hurry. Nope, not what I'm talkin' about here. Hot Footin' It is when the fire you set goes out, but the rock you built the fire on is still hot and you end up standing on the hot rock and melting a hole through the bottom of your boot. I have no idea where this definition came from, but I can feel, er I mean, understand it.

JUST FER DRILL: This term is used when you what to kill a little more time before the evening hunt and you decide to head down some trail that you've never seen Elk on, but, doggone it, you will some day.

FRIGGIN' WOLVES: This is how Elk Hunters refer to the States ineptitude in handling intrusive species that indescrimitively kill thousands of Elk each year. Ask me how I really feel??

Well, there's a start. If you have more, I'd love to hear em. Keep em comin, cause I know you've developed some of your own slang terms.