THE BOX IN THE TRAIL

Now this has just got to raise the interest level of the reader of this little tale. A box you say? In the trail? Must me something somebody dropped out of their pack when they were fishin' around in it trying find the bung fodder. I'll go into the necessity of ample bung fodder some other time, for now, lets get back to "the box in the trail". I'm pretty certain that this here box was not in this particular location by accident. In fact, I can't figure out, for the life of me, why on earth it was there, but there it was, big as life, surely planted where someone would find it. Thats where Randy and I come into the picture.

We had, or Randy had I should say, gotten a cow elk on opening morning. As a side note, this guy (I'm talkin bout Randy) seems to be in the right place on a pretty darn regular basis. Now I don't know if it is because he is such a masterful hunter or if he's just plain lucky either way, the elk seem to be drawn to him. What I'm finally beginning to figure out is that I should just stay close, maybe it'll rub off me someday, please someday soon.....

Well anyway, we get this cow back to camp on Randy's mechanical horse, some people know em as quads or 4-wheelers, and get her up on the meat pole. After this the elk seem to be pretty scarce. We've hiked and glassed and hiked and glassed and, well, you get the picture. We aren't seeing critters. So about the 5th day of the season we figure it's time to check out another place to hike and glass, yup, same thing different place. We drive down the road a piece and stop off at a locked gate, we do this a lot, and head off down an old loggin skiff. Now its a nice day, not too cold and the ground is quiet, but no snow. We walk for a while and then stop and glass the far wall of the canyon below, lookin' for any sign of life. There's ravens and squirrels and chipmunks, but no elk, looks like yet another day void of our quarry, so after checking this spot out for a half hour or so we move on. We've been following this loggin' skiff for the better part of an hour now when we come across this box. Not just any box, but a sealed beam box. I spose there are a lot of you out there that aren't familiar with the term 'sealed beam.' Well a sealed beam is a headlight for a car. Not really all that long ago, we didn't have just a bulb that you twist into the headlight assembly, NO we used to have to remove 3-4 screws and unplug this big lamp called a sealed beam. Then you put the new one in and put the screws back in and you have to adjust the beam so it isn't shining too high or too low or too right or, whatever.

Back to the box. This thing is setting there, right in the middle of the trail, like someone had carefully and meticulously placed it where someone would find it. We stop and start lookin at the thing, its all closed up nice and neat like and appears to be in pretty good shape. After a bit I say, "why don't you open it". "Naw" Randy replies, "not sure I want to know what's in there". "Aw c'mon" I add. "You open it" he says. To tell you the truth, I honestly don't remember who opened this thing, but I do remember the surprise we got.

Now picture this, we are about an hours walk from the truck, down this ole loggin' skiff which has pretty much turned into a trail. We come across this box, which, when it is opened reveals, now this is the honest truth, six sets of buck deer genitalia. Yup, deer balls, a sealed beam box clear full of papa deer's family jewels. Six of em! I know, this sounds like a tall tale, but who could possibly make this one up. Back in those days I didn't carry a camera with me, and I have wished ever since that I did. I still have a couple questions.

#1 Who on earth goes to the trouble of boxin' up 6 sets of deer jewels in a sealed beam box and hauls em out on a point and sets em in the middle of the trail for me and Randy to stumble upon?

#2 Where was this yahoo sittin' as he watched us argue over who was gonna open the confounded box and see our faces as we discovered the surprise contents?

I figure we were being watched, cause what fun would it be to plant this thing if you didn't get to watch the show. I'll probably never know the answer to either question, but if you do, let me know.